All I want
by Hiyuki Fujisawa
Summary: I believe in angels. And I believe that someday, a tenshi would come and with all its love deliver me from this fated life of mine. I believe that I could be free from all this one day... And right now... all I want is... all I really want is...


All I want   
  
  
~*~*~   
  
  
I believe in angels. And I believe that someday, a tenshi would come and with all its love deliver me from this fated life of mine. I believe that I could be free from all this one day... And right now... all I want is... all I really want is...   
  
  
~*~*~   
  
  
A shuffle of papers, a scribble of a pen and a glance up at the boy, "I said, do you want to go for a break?" Tsuzuki asked looking back down at the papers before him. There was a grunt and Hisoka turned to face his partner, "You shouldn't bother asking because you know the answer, but for today, I'll gladly make an exception." he answered placing down the book he was reading. Tsuzuki grinned.   
  
"Suprisingly you accepted my offer, maybe it's a becoming of you being less cold hearted ne?" he remarked and got up from his seat. Hisoka cast him a glare, "Do you want me to change my mind?" Tsuzuki shook his head hurriedly, "No! No! Anyway we better hurry before Tatsumi gets back and disallows us." he said before brushing back his hair and fixing on his coat.   
  
  
Hisoka just couldn't be bothered and stuck his hands into his jeans pockets. Tsuzuki eyed Hisoka, he huffed and wagged a finger at him, "You know... you need a fashion coordinator. You can't go around wearing that hideous orange shirt of yours! I'd rather you go buck naked then come out in this." he said looking satisfied at getting his long-wanted-to-say words out. Hisoka gave him a very dangerously pissed off look, "If you continue complaining, you can go alone. For your information, I don't care about clothes. I don't care about the way I get stares from people. I just care about being alive." he said and brushed past his partner for the door. Tsuzuki frowned, "But you are dead." he retorted and a punch on his face was Hisoka's reply.   
  
  
Tsuzuki sighed, "Look, we can get new clothes for you along the way okay?" Hisoka growled a warning but didn't say anything, "Well what ever your response..." Tsuzuki started before he very abruptly picked up a suprised Hisoka and swung him over his shoulder, "O..Oi! What do you think you're doing Tsuzuki Asato?!" the boy demanded, protesting with his swinging legs. Tsuzuki just smiled at him, "You're getting a new look." he replied and Hisoka gulped, "PUT ME DOWN!!!" he yelled, struggling with all his might but his strength was nowhere near Tsuzuki's and they left the office with a very much anxietied Hisoka and a very ginger Tsuzuki.   
  
  
"PPUUT MMMEE DOOWN!!!" Hisoka shouted all the way to the shop drawing curious stares from the people walking along the streets. Some were casting the duo disgruntled looks while some watched the scene in amusement. "We're here!" announced an enthusiastic Tsuzuki and set the poor blonde back on his feet.   
  
  
"Next time you ask me out for tea, please remind me to carry a gun." he said irritatedly and brushed himself. Pushing Hisoka into the shop, Tsuzuki plucked a few clothes on their hangers and passed it over to Hisoka. Hisoka stared at it for a while, a polar white top with navy blue 'Guess?' jeans. Hisoka made no move to take it, "What? You expect me to wear it?" he asked looking up doubtfully at Tsuzuki, "A bit brain dead aren't you? what are clothes for? decoration?" Tsuzuki said a bit impatiently.   
  
  
Hisoka threw him a look, "Coming from you, yes it is for decoration. I remember seeing clothes strewn here in there in a certain *somebody's* room, and paintings sometimes consisted of an extra shirt dangling from the frame." Hisoka said a bit louder than normal.   
  
  
Tsuzuki grinned sheepishly, "Okay okay, just go in and try it on." he said pushing his partner towards the changing room. A timid sales girl approached them with another suit in hand, "Su..suminasen... de..demo do.. you wan..want to try-" she was cut short of her stuttering when Tsuzuki's eager face scared Hisoka off and he rushed into the changing room. "No more clothes!" came a muffled voice from behind the curtains.   
  
  
The salesgirl bowed and hurried back to the side counter where she looked down at the ground with a blush on her face.   
  
  
Tsuzuki pocketed his hands and looked around the store with interest, he spied some girls who were talking and pointing at him. Tsuzuki waved cheerily and one of them fainted. "Oops..." the older shinigami muttered and turned back around and waited for his partner. Who was clearly trying to prolong the time he had in the changing room to prevent from going out to face his partner, who he was sure was going to laugh his head off.   
  
  
There was a curse from the drapes surrounding the small corner called a changing room. Then the curtains slowly withdrew a bit and a strand of the lightest shade of brown hair peeked out from behind. Tsuzuki sighed and pulled the whole material back to reveal Hisoka Kurosaki in a white top and navy blue jeans. And much to Hisoka's irritation, the girls nearby started giggling and a word reached over to him, "Kawaii!" Hisoka shook his head and raised his shoulders in defeat while Tsuzuki nodded approvingly at the new clothes, "You'll be paying I assume?" Hisoka finally said after a long silence, "What? Oh yeah. I will. Come on then." he said fishing out his wallet.   
  
A few minutes later they emerged out of the store into the blinding sunlit world of the living, "Now I know why you wear sunglasses all the time. " Hisoka said trying to shield his eyes from the glaring rays of the huge orange orb suspended in the sky.   
  
  
"By the way, don't you think we've spent too much time out already? You have lots of paperwork left to do..." Hisoka trailed off and looked up at his partner, surprised at the lack of response and found Tsuzuki staring at him, "Tsuzuki? you listening?" he asked.   
  
  
Snapping out of his thoughts, the dark haired man rubbed the back of his head sheepishly and nodded, "A..Aa? gomen.. I wasn't paying attention." he replied raising his head to look at a crowd of whispering girls, Hisoka sighed and said, "I was saying that we had better get back soon." "mm..." Tsuzuki muttered and diverted his gaze from the girls, who were now whistling, to the youth in front of him.   
  
Along the way, Tsuzuki had the time to contemplate on Hisoka's new mood. Surprisingly, Hisoka allowed himself to get dressed without much of a fuss, the *normal* Hisoka he knew wouldn't have agreed to go for a break, and not allowed himself to succumb to Tsuzuki's begs (especially concerning a change of clothes).   
  
  
Hisoka looked behind his shoulder at his partner who was standing there and looking at him, "Oi! Asshole!" Hisoka shouted at his oblivious partner who immediately snapped back to life, "Eh? Oh... Tea..." he murmured to himself and followed his partner.   
  
Hisoka cast half worried, half confused glances at the shinigami next to him and had many reasons to do so.   
  
  
First: Tsuzuki had been very mistified looking when Hisoka had emerged from the changing room.   
  
Second: Tsuzuki had given his whole wallet over to the salesperson instead of the alloted price on Hisoka's new clothes.   
  
Third: Tsuzuki kept quiet all the while which is very unusual for a chatterbox of a partner.   
  
Fourth: Tsuzuki had tripped over a lot of times, which Hisoka was not sure whether it was because his partner was acting weirdly or because it was mere clumsiness that seemed to stay with Tsuzuki all the time.   
  
Fifth: He did not order anything other than a slice of cake.   
  
  
::Further more... I don't think Tsuzuki reacts like that in front of food...:: Hisoka thought tiredly, watching his partner as he lifted up the fork, cut the cake into a piece and put the fork down. Raise it again, cut into a piece, *clink* put down. Raise, cut, *clink*.   
  
  
Hisoka waved his hand in front of his partner's face, "Oi! Don't wander off!" he said to a dreamy eyed Tsuzuki. "Eh?" Tsuzuki asked abruptly raising his head, Hisoka rolled his eyes and nodded at the cake, "Are you going to eat that or continue practising your cutting skills?" he asked. The purple eyed shinigami blinked, looked down at the poor cake which was now in tiny pieces, "Oops..." he said sheepishly and promptly took a spoon to scoop the slices up.   
  
  
Hisoka shook his head, "Really Tsuzuki. What's gotten into you? You keep watching me like as if waiting for me to commit a crime or something, then you look dazedly up at the trees. I honestly don't know what's wrong with you today." Hisoka said breathlessly.   
  
  
Tsuzuki scratched his cheek with a finger thoughtfully, "honto...?" The blonde haired boy shook his head and let out a sigh, " Listen, we had better get going, Tatsumi must be back by now and he might be throwing things around in frustration." Hisoka remarked getting up from his seat. "Ara? h..hai we better get going." Tsuzuki said, leaving unfinished pieces of cake on the plate which was taken away by a much bewildered waitress ("Why has the cake been cut into such small pieces?").   
  
  
Hisoka hurried forward, his fast paced footsteps not much helping the older shinigami who trailed behind. Hisoka looked to his right and noticed that Tsuzuki was gone, he sighed and glanced over his shoulder to see a tiny black dot behind, which he assumed was his partner.   
  
  
  
"What's with him?" Hisoka muttered to himself as he went back towards Tsuzuki. Tsuzuki however was starting to wander off into his thoughts again, ::what is this feeling? Why am I reacting this way towards him? I..I'm not a gay... I've always thought girls were very pretty... and.. I fell in love with a girl once... but.. why.. why him?:: in this manner, he questioned himself answered but disagreed and questioned all over again.   
  
  
Hisoka was striding towards his slow partner in anger. ::Why can't he be quicker and what in the world is he thinking off? He's acting very weirdly today and I want to get out of this clothing as soon as possible!:: Hisoka thought angrily, unaware that he had been clutching at the hem of his shirt.   
  
  
"Tsuzuki!" Hisoka cried his voice showing a tinge of impatience and exasperation, "What the hell are you standing there for??" Tsuzuki looked up and saw Hisoka walking towards him while people were starting to peer at the two.   
  
  
Tsuzuki gulped, he hadn't been aware that he had stopped walking. He must have been very lost in deep thoughts; Tsuzuki scratched his head apologetically while Hisoka shouted in anger, "It's already been an hour since we left the office, don't you think Tatsumi would be pissed that we had left without him knowing??" the blonde boy demanded while Tsuzuki had to look down at the ground.   
  
  
Hisoka let out a huff and looked as if he wanted to say something but sighed and shrugged his shoulders and walked off. Tsuzuki stared after him ::Why him?::   
  
  
~ ~ ~   
  
  
  
"WENT OUT?! AND LOOK AT THE AMOUNT OF PAPERWORK LEFT TO DO!!!" a voice thundered and the building shook at the impact of the voice.   
  
"Gomen! We just.. we just.."   
  
"NO EXCUSES!!! I WANT EVERY SINGLE PAPERWORK TO BE DONE TODAY! AND PRONTO!" Tatsumi roared before slamming the door shut on the two partners. Tsuzuki heaved a huge sigh of relief and sank into the armchair. "At least his words have become less harsher." Tsuzuki remarked eyeing the door that had been slammed, Hisoka didn't say anything but slumped onto the chair opposite of Tsuzuki, "I told you didn't I? You had to drag and drag but.. you seemed reluctant to return to the office anyhow.. why is that?" Hisoka asked curiously his eyes looking straight into violet orbs which seemed hesitant at his partner's words, "I was just thinking..." Tsuzuki said his eyes travelling away from twin emeralds.   
  
Hisoka sighed, "It's very difficult to understand you, you know? I don't know what's going on in that head of yours and I don't know what is it you want." Hisoka said resignedly his back stretching against the cushion of the armchair. Tsuzuki nodded and glanced down at the papers, ::I'm not sure what I want too...:: the older shinigami thought picking up a pen ::I... loved someone before, but it couldn't happen between us. It never could. She was flawless, if I must admit it but she was alive as I was non-existing. She said she loved me, I said I never could. Because I was dead...:: Tsuzuki felt the emotions building inside of him all over again. But he determinedly pushed it away, the past was the past and if it were bad, be it forgotten. Now.. there were more pressing matters at hand.   
  
  
Tsuzuki looked up again to find Hisoka glancing at one of the papers that Tsuzuki had carelessly strewn about. "Kisowa? was that her name?" Hisoka asked. Tsuzuki stared at the boy, "H..how did...?" Hisoka waved him off impatiently, " I'm an empath in case you forgot..." Hisoka said a bit scornfully, " And you're not the only one who checks the background of your partners. I checked your profile as you did mine. Kisowa wasn't mentioned in your general information but I did quite a bit of researching and asked several old partners of yours when you once said you had a forbidden love." Hisoka explained setting down the paper on the desk. Tsuzuki looked at him in awe while the youth stood up yawned, "And don't tell me you're still pining and wishing for her, it was well over 6 years ago." Hisoka reprimanded making for the door, "I didn't know you were -" Tsuzuki started but was cut short when Hisoka said, "Smart? Wise? Well informed? It's something you will never have Tsuzuki." he said and shut the door silently.   
  
Tsuzuki sweatdropped, "But I wanted to say that you were such a busybody..." he trailed off but shrugged and continued to scribble. SLAM! The door slammed open just as it silently shut a moment ago, "Ara?" Tsuzuki asked looking up from his work and into the face of Hisoka, "What's wrong?" Hisoka didn't reply but ducked behind the sofa just as the door opened again, "DID YOU SEE HISOKA???" A golden haired man demanded bounding in, Tsuzuki blinked and shook his head while Watari pouted, "He escaped again.. never mind I'll find Tat-san." Watari muttered to himself and shut the door. Hisoka peeked out from behind the plushy two seater chair, "Phew..." Hisoka said and sank into the black leather sofa, "Wha?" Tsuzuki mouthed.   
  
Hisoka glanced towards the door and heard an indistinct, "Tatsumiiii!" And the slam of the door followed by running feet. "Watari claimed he has created the sex changing potion and I happened to be passing by when he saw me." Hisoka recounted and picked up his book, "But it looks as if he has found another guniea pig now." There were shouts and curses followed by laughter. "So where were you going anyway?" Tsuzuki asked placing the papers aside. "Getting some refreshments, knowing you." was the reply. ::Don't tell me you're still pining and wishing for her...:: the voice of Hisoka echoed in Tsuzuki's mind, ::Can I but help it?:: Tsuzuki retorted, "I know how it feels Tsuzuki. To not be able to love somebody because of what you are..." Hisoka's voice brought the older shinigami back to the present.   
  
"What?"   
  
" I couldn't love Tsubaki. I couldn't love my parents. I couldn't love myself. "   
  
"Hisoka..."   
  
"So do you see now Tsuzuki? You're not alone, let go of her." Hisoka said softly looking at the book without paying any attention to the written contents. Tsuzuki looked down, "Hisoka... you got me wrong."   
  
The younger shinigami looked up ,"Wh..what? Tsuzuki got up from his chair and looked out of the large glass window next to the desk, "I didn't pine for her. Neither am I still wishing for her, I've let her go the day I said goodbye... But now..." Tsuzuki straightened up "All I ever wished for or wanted... Hisoka.." Tsuzuki said getting off his chair and walking towards the blonde haired boy, "...Was a person, I've wanted him ever since the day I met him." Green eyes widened as Tsuzuki looked at him, "But I never knew if I could love him." Hisoka backed into the sofa while Tsuzuki advanced till he was standing in front of him.   
  
"And you, of all people... should know... that all I ever wanted was..." Tsuzuki paused as he bent down to look into Hisoka's trembling face, he traced a finger across shivering lips, "Was... you." Tsuzuki leaned forward, his eyes devouring Hisoka's green ones as the boy whimpered slightly at the contact. Tsuzuki's lips met Hisoka's soft ones as he surrounded his arms around the small figure. As the kiss deepened and Tsuzuki pushed Hisoka back onto the sofa, desires and long hidden wishes poured out into each other. Hisoka's fingers unconciously tangled in dark strands of hair and Tsuzuki pressed down on the fragile frame beneath him. The loneliness that had once been there was fading away only to be replaced by a sense of love and fulfillment.   
  
Tatsumi who was running past the office to escape from Watari's poisonous potions skidded to a halt when he saw the two partners. One lying a top the other. Kissing. Watari slammed into Tatsumi and was about to scold the secretary when Tatsumi placed his hand around Watari's mouth. He pointed at the scene before them and Watari gasped, a blush entering his face. Tatsumi then had to drag Watari away who was muttering, "I can't see this.. it's like walking in on your parents..." but was rather reluctant to leave the scene of passion.   
  
Watari sighed when he was downstairs. He glanced back up wistfully at the room above the stairs and sighed, "Oh well..." he said eyeing the testube he had in his hand, "What's the use of a sex changing potion when men can fall in love with each other?" He glanced at Tatsumi who was humming and threw the potion over his shoulder. He glanced at the room again and heard a moan escape. Watari blushed and blushed even harder when Tatsumi winked at him.   
  
::At least...:: Watari thought walking towards his desk where Tatsumi was waiting to give him a sheaf of papers   
  
  
::They have set each other free... and the past isn't meant to be anymore.::   
  
  
~*~*~   
  
I'll be willing to risk my life if that means having to have you. In all the years of my existence, I've been wishing and wishing for someone to understand and love me. I wished for a tenshi. And now what I really want is the angel that has come true. All I really want is... you.   
  
~*~*~   
  
OWARI


End file.
